Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
