Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
