hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
