Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need to calm my uterus...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
