i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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