She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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