She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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