He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
