She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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