Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
