It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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