I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
