Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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