spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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