You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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