I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
