i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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