I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize