I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
