I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
