no, he came in my armpit
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
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I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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