I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
