awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I am one with the molecules
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
