i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
