Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
