barbara walters just said penis...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
