AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
