Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize