Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
