I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
