Having a random hookup so left but love u
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize