Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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