yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My liver just had a heart attack.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
