You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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