i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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