So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
