fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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