I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
