You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
worst night to have a conscience
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize