Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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