Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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