Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
