Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
