Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize