ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
