She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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