Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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