Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
