If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
