yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
