That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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