If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
