I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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