i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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