Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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