Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize