I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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