I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
