omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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