he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
