He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
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He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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