went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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