are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
