The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
