I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
