This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Randomize
